Crazy, Funny, Gadgets, General, Sex 101

The Future is Now: Tampon Taser

Hello ladies. I realize it’s unfortunate that creepy asshole dudes are among us, and sometimes your only line of defense against them is a swift kick to the scrotum. Luckily there’s a new method of self-protection on the market, and it looks like your average tampon…infused with 50,000 volts of tasing power.

From the creators:

“The Pink Stinger packs 50,000 volts of power at your finger tips. Because it is an advanced stun gun, you do have the option of stun capabilities with a simple click of a switch. In the Stun setting, you need only make contact with intended target via the 2 prods for an effective toxic shock rendering the victim disoriented, demoralized and embarrassed . When shooting in Zap mode, 2 extra absorbent cotton tampons with barbed probes and 14 ft. of wire are expelled and propelled by compressed nitrogen. Electric current then passes to the body, where the probes have attach to the clothing or bare skin, causing central nervous system disruption, possible urination and certain humiliation. Optimal target range for the stun gun is 7-10 feet with a maximum of 14 feet. Absorbency range of tampon is 6-9 grams. The included batteries and compressed nitrogen cartridge store neatly in the pink zapplicator casing for easy replacement.”

It goes without saying that you should be extremely careful to not misplace your regular tampons and insert the voltampon inside of you during your cycle, because yeah…that could be bad. Or rad. I have no idea, but be careful.