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The Future is Now: Booty Pop Panties

Just when you thought it was safe to purchase useless things, look what pops up out of nowhere: Booty Pop Panties. These panties were specially made so flat-assed women can wear a push-up bra on their ass to make up for their lack of thick and juicy bubble. And like the push-up bra before it, I have to say “nay” to this new trend. It’s false advertising of the worst kind. Imagine the horror and boner-withering moment when you notice that DAT ASS is no more, and just a pile of synthetic puffs holding whatever puny little booty behind it. How tragic.