Advice, Funny, General, Sex 101, Sexy

Lesbian Sex Positions for Dummies

Schooling for novice lesbians is one of those rare situations where you have no problem having the patience to watch the student slowly overtake the master. So sit back, relax on the sidelines and let LoveGirls teach the ins and outs.

Lesbian Sex Positions - The Student

I have it on good authority that this is currently called ‘The Student’ because statistically (that’s right, Mathematics…it must be true!) this is both the most common position to have sex in and the one you are most likely to use in your first girl-on-girl experience. I might also argue that it’s the one you’re most likely to develop “Lesbian-Bed-Death” (now an official medical term) in, which bookends the whole thing rather nicely. To use the more widely accepted terminology, I’d call this “Vanilla”; tasty, available at every good ice-cream vendor, but sadly quite plain. It involves full body contact and the kind of intimacy that you can only get from holding somebody closely and staring into her beautiful eyes whilst you’re whispering those three all important words.

No, I’m not referring to “I’ve had better!”

Lesbian Sex Positions - Tribbing

Yes. I know. It’s the least sexy word for anything that ever existed. It’d be hotter to call it an X-man name. But, most surprisingly, it’s not a word that I realised existed until I was writing this (I apologise, if I’m alone in this. Thank you for providing me with a reason to educate myself in cunning linguistics…ahem).

After extensive research on your behalf with a close personal friend of mine (I’m selfless to a fault I admit it) we discovered that it pretty much describes ‘humping’. I assume they renamed it because that’s equally unattractive. To quote the pixie friend in question, it’s when “You get giddy on someone’s leg”… or hip, or knee, or pretty much whichever body part, including genitals, you choose to rub yourself against, and is far sexier than any of the words I’ve used to describe it suggests. I’m not Sarah Waters. So shoot me.

Read more Lesbian Sex Positions for Dummies here.