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Chris Bucholz: You Stuck What Up Your Ass Sir?

This is probably one of the best consumer product conversations I’ve read in some time. Harassment is the best policy. Saying you’re going to shove things up your ass, however, will make anyone refund what you originally called for.

I think I’ll try that next time I want my money back for a product. Saying I shoved things up my ass, but not actually doing it though. Zing!

This conversation is from the Chris Bucholz Discharge Blog on Cracked.com:

Anatomically-Designed

CALL CENTER LOG: 06/14/09 11:34 CST

TELEBRANDS CUSTOMER SERVICE REPRESENTATIVE
TeleBrands, this is Marci speaking, how may I help you?

CALLER
Hi, uh, Marci. I need to return a product I ordered.

CSR
All right, sir. Do you have the order number with you? It should be on the invoice that was shipped with the product.

CALLER
Yup, just give me a second. OK, got it. It’s A662-BN2453-02334.

CSR
OK, I’ll just pull that up on the computer for you. This is Chris?

CALLER
Yes! That’s me.

CSR
And I see you ordered a Comfort Wipe package. We actually don’t allow returns for that particular product.

CALLER
Why not?

CSR
Well it doesn’t say here, but I’m guessing for hygiene reasons? We really have no facilities for handling used Comfort Wipes.

CALLER
Oh, I get it. Yeah, I don’t know what I’d do with a bunch of those either. You’d need like a hazmat team and a priest, huh? OK. Well this one is still in the original packaging if that helps.

CSR
Oh. OK. Yes, I think that does. OK, can I ask why you’re returning it?

CALLER
It was a gift for someone who has requested to no longer receive gifts from me.

For the rest and even better part of the conversation click here.

Thanks Todd, for the find!