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James Bond Needs Work…Dirty Work

We all know it’s tough out there in Unemploymentville, but you know it’s reached an all-time low when a man who goes by the name “James Bond” solicits work through creepy and erotic handwritten letters placed in women’s mailboxes.

I’ve tried really hard to follow up with a joke to this, but I can’t. Reality can’t handle this guy, and neither can the residents of his community. From KSDK:

10 Connects called the number on the flyer and the man who answered — after saying at first it was the wrong number — said James Bond was one of his workers.

“We do work for female widows or single women only,” he said to 10 Connects’ Noah Pransky. “We don’t work for husbands, so we won’t be doing business with you.”

You gotta admire him for staying true to his word. FEMALE WIDOWS AND SINGLE WOMEN ONLY. Didn’t you hear him, Noah Pransky? By the way, you’re name sounds like “no pranks”, so how’d you fall for one? ZING!

I’ll be here all week, folks. Apologies in advance.