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Promote Safe Sex With 0.6 Inch Condoms…?

Everybody knows that safe sex is a given when whoring it up with your local prostitute, but awareness has plummeted to the point of companies using the worst ways to teach kids to “buckle up”. MTV UK worked with The Body Shop on a line of 0.6 condoms to promote safe sex to youngsters, which seems like a great way to embarrass every kid new to this wonderful thing called fucking.

From Metro UK:

The 15mm (0.6 inches) long, 3mm (0.1 inches) wide rubber device highlights the crucial role of condoms in preventing the spread of diseases such as HIV and Aids. Condoms are on average 190mm (7.5 inches) long so while the mini sheath is too small to be used, its creators claim it can play a role in spreading the message about a problem affecting millions of people worldwide.

To be fair, the majority of money raised from purchasing various products from The Body Shop (“limited edition exotic-flavoured lipsalve”, anyone?) will go towards the Staying Alive Foundation to support efforts to educate our youth about the dangers of unprotected sex. But why promote it like this?

It’s almost as if the powers that be want young boys to hate themselves. Why would companies ever think that proudly displaying a babydick condom would somehow encourage teens to practice safe sex? I’m flushed with embarrassment for them, and will give each and every poor, micro-dicked kid a coupon for one dirty blowjob from Harold, my block’s local prostitute. Harold may be a man–I’ve never checked–but he/she gives a helluva beej.