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100 Unintentionally Hilarious Spam Subject Lines

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If you want a perfect demonstration of the “1,000 typing monkeys accidentally creating a masterpiece” phenomenon, look no further than your spam subject lines. The jumbled mash of nonsense spammers use to get around spam filters creates a kind of surreal poetry that some believe will one day be assembled as proof that the Internet has become sentient. Over the years I’ve gathered actual subject lines from fans for posterity, so please enjoy our amazing and horrifying collection, with my commentary.

100. Life Lesson: Most rhyming advice is just wrong:

99. Sounds like an eight-year-old describing the human reproductive process:

98. Here’s the same kid describing how our last party ended:

97. Instead of a flying carpet, the tiny little genie flew his…

96. Sure, it’s promising plural dicks and that they’ll be torpedo-sized. But it’s not like they explode or anything.

Oh, wait…

95. I think we know how you solve your financial problems, Mr. DaggerSharpBlade.

94. Many a college male has had to make this late-night decision:

93. But they’ll never get past the new Gay Delta Force!

92. Look, Internet, we’re trying to have a civilization over here.

91. DAMNIT WHAT DID I JUST SAY

90. Here’s some erotic Social Services fan fiction:

Read more Unintentionally Hilarious Spam Subject Lines at Cracked.