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4 Things That Happen Every Spring Break

I’m ashamed to say that I’ve never really partaken in Spring Break debauchery. I never lived in a dorm so the whole bro-trip steez passed right by me. No problem though, as I would spend the week of Spring Break making booty calls to all the girls who didn’t go, and there were PLEN-TY. Or just one. Sigh…

Spring Break is filled with booze, and…well, it’s just filled with mostly booze. But there are certain things you can come to expect about Spring Break, that don’t happen generally during other vacation periods. Here are four of them.

1. Someone Yells “SPRING BREAK!”

No other holiday or gathering does this happen. Nobody screams out “LAAAABOR DAAAAAYYY!”

Usually “Spring Break” is screamed as a direct result to someone being challenged to do something super retarded, like “dude, I dare you to snort a line of salt off that chick who looks like a fat Anthony Keadis’s titty.” Then once the challenge has been met; “SPPPRRRRIIIIING BREEEEEAAAAK!”

2. You Have A Heart To Heart With A Maintenance Person At The Hotel You’re Staying At

It’s 4 in the morning, and no one understands you but Javier, the 57 year old man who’s fixing the ice machine near your room.

Even though when you asked him “Dude, what, dude, what the, dude why do you think there’s so many bitches in this world (look at his name tag) Javier?” and he answers with “I don’t know my friend.” You are convinced you and he are getting to the bottom of life’s problems.

Read the rest of the list at Holy Taco.