April 2009
The Archives
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04.30.09Sarah DunnBonus Sarah Dunn Need2Know Interview:
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04.30.09DeBeers And What They Really MeanYou've seen all their advertisements. How they want you to buy a ring for your chick that's a minimum value of 3 months salary. Well this is what they really mean. Buy her a ring, stick it in her pooper. [Pussyologist]
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04.30.09Do You Like Fish…Sticks?Wait a minute...you like putting fishsticks in your mouth?
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04.30.09We are the Champions (of Porn)I've never been so proud to be an American. Still, some percentages on this chart seem dubious--Japan, Russia and Spain each have one percent? And at over 244 million sites (!!), what we Americans consider porn could be quite different from their standards. For all we know, Japan alone could have trillions of sites that fall outside of our kink spectrum; Hentai comes to mind. Risque international commercials beat the U.S. out in sheer naughtiness, so I'm calling for a recount, even though I'm sure we filthy bastards will still reign supreme.
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04.30.09Mr. T Tells You How To Treat Your Momma RightTreat your momma right, your momma right! Everyone, acapella version now! And you know you betta, Mother's Day is around the corner! I pity da fool who don't know how to treat his momma. Right.
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04.30.09Three Hot Chicks, One News ChannelWant to stay up to date with all the world news? Tired of boring network anchors? Then come to Wild News every day for your news read by Nadine, Havok, and Mayham in lingerie! Check out Wildnews.com. Mayham Sweets Nadine Havoc Hailey Wild News!
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04.30.09Girl Sends Stripper Lookalike in Her Place to High School ReunionHigh School reunions are only exciting if your current life isn't as great as reliving your teenage memories. The only reason to attend these things is to boast about why you're greater than everybody there--just like it used to be in High School! If I wanted to "catch up" with old friends from a decade ago I would've called them 10 YEARS AGO; I didn't then and I won't do it now. Unless an old classmate is super horny to reconnect with me in the girl's locker room like Zack and Miri, I'll decline my invitation, thank you very much. My opinion ...
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04.30.09Deluxe Hugs for $2.00Capitalism at its finest:
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04.30.09Milk Dresses Do a Body GoodRussian photographer Andrey Razumovsky created these milk dresses, and I'm forever in his debt for this major accomplishment in fashion. I've always thought hot babes should be draped in nothing but liquid, and these pics prove my point. [Source]
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04.30.09Outstanding Golf PantsI played golf once when I was a sophomore in high school with a mutual friend. His step-dad fancied himself a fancy motherfucker (he wasn't), and took us teens out for a around of 18 holes. I sucked hardcore, while my friend had a "respectable score", which I can't remember because I don't really care. I don't care about golf, but I care about being fancy. If I ever choose to subject myself to the game ever again, I want other golfers to look at me in awe--that's why I'd buy my attire at Loudmouth Golf. The owners of this stylish ...