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The Most Sexually Unappealing Porn Titles

If all porn titles followed the trend of the bizarre and sexually unappealing ones on this Cracked list…well, nobody would buy porn ever again. DO NOT WANT.

The adult entertainment industry is renowned for its ability to churn out an incredible volume of movies each year.

One has to wonder how they keep coming up with titles, when so many of the films cover such similar subject matter (fucking). Well, as it turns out, a whole lot of them are horrible and, with one glance, can turn you off the idea of porn (and even sex) for a very long time. Here are some of the worst.

For your protection the graphic sexual images on these DVD covers have been covered by this image of the lovely Amy Winehouse.

#15. Crack Whores of the Tenderloin

First of all, this movie gets huge props for the Kill Bill homage, if you consider this an homage. Regardless, that rocks.

What else rocks? Tenderloin, the most manly food on the planet. However, if you actually meet a crack whore and she’s carrying that, fucking RUN.

#14. ATM Machines

Unlike the normal everyday use of “ATM Machines,” this title is not a redundancy. In the porn world the M stands for “Mouth,” and the AT standing for “Ass To.” Yeah. Good thing they’ve got a machine to take care of that.

#13. Girth, Wind and Fire

At first glance, this lazy, half-assed attempt to parody the famous band name is just depressing. It doesn’t even make sense in a porn context. How about Sperm, Bend & Tie Her? See, that took five seconds.

The only justification would be if the band Earth, Wind & Fire were actually in the film, at which point the title goes from incompetent to terrifying.

#12. Anal Chiropractor

Man, we’ve all had that fantasy where we go to the chiropractor, and she’s smokin’ hot, and then she slooowly starts adjusting our vertebrae, with her anus.

More Sexually Unappealing Porn Titles at Cracked.