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Nicolas Cage Movie Plot Generator

I’m a huge fan of Nicolas Cage, so much that I watch all his movies the day they’re released in theaters. Of course, when I say “huge fan”, I really mean that I love laughing at how ridiculous he is. He can’t be for real…but he is. This Cracked article goes out to Nicolas Cage, Hollywood’s most awkward anomaly.

The Facts:

1. Nicolas Cage is an Oscar winning Hollywood movie star who abruptly quit acting at the height of his abilities.

2. He has starred in dozens of films since that time.

3. Cage is one of the youngest actors ever to enter the “Seriously, I┬áDon’t Give a Shit” stage of his career. And while actors like Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro have been perfected the art of phoning-in a performance, nobody has quite matched Cage’s ability to make us wonder if he’s fucking with us.

4. Post giving a shit, Cage films are plotted the way burritos are ordered at Chipotle. By choosing different combinations from a small, fixed menu, Cage has been able to release an endless variety of barely different films.

More sage, Cage wisdom at Cracked.