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The Manliest Video Game Titles of 2009

Nothing says manly like loafing around in sweatpants, drinking beer and playing video games. The next step towards total manliness lies in what game you’re playing. The -Minus World has compiled the Manliest Video Game Titles to assist you in your never-ending quest of being fluent in mannish.

I just finished off cooking a few double grilled cheese thick cut bacon cheeseburgers (yes, the buns are made of grilled cheese sandwiches) and washed them down with a round of double vodkas so I’m feeling pretty fucking manly right now. What better way to celebrate than with a list of the manliest video game titles of 2009, the year of the ox?

Fuck your site with a walrus if you’ve made a similar list in the past, this one has more hair on its chest, bitchtits.

#10 Elevator Action: Death Parade

Combining the words elevator and action usually implies there’s some sort of devious sexual scandal popping off in a vertical transportation shaft. I wouldn’t know since I get dome in the staircase from a shorty while carrying 40 pounds of lumber on my back like a real man, but throw a fucking death parade into the mix and I’ll hammer that shiny red up button with the fury of a coked up 12 year old trying to pull off Blanka’s electrical attack.

#9 Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard

A title that could bonk Sarah Palin in a helicopter and then throw her to the wolves. Alternate titles include Eat Shit: The Attack Of Joe Explosion and Suck Shat: The Revenge Of Buck Fuckner.

#8 Deer Hunter Tournament

This game is like an AC/DC concert. Nobody has ever consumed a beer costing more than a dollar within a one mile radius of it.

More of the Manliest Video Game Titles at The -Minus World.