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The Most Ridiculous Job Training Videos

Training videos are the best part of getting a new job at a chain store. While all the other employees are, you know, getting paid to do thankless work, you get to watch the cheesiest, most ridiculous videos made by people who don’t understand the concept of a good idea. Enjoy it while you can, because it’s the most fun you’ll ever have at that dead-end job. From Esquire:

Wendy’s Hamburger Rap

Consider this a confirmation of all your suspicions: Dave Thomas was the badass of the fast-food industry. While other restaurants were parading out cartoony characters (Jack in the Box? Fail.), Thomas was pulling hardened rappers straight from the ghetto and into his kitchen, all the while working in informative tidbits like “meat has grains, just like wood.” Who knew?

Gamestop: The Case for Overt Sexism

So just to recap, cater to your female clientele by developing a promotion that insinuates that they are unintelligent and/or out of shape, then sell it to them with simple terminology that assumes they have no idea what a video game is, all while not scaring them away by being a man.

Oh, and throw in a magazine subscription. Quick, someone get Ayn Rand a Wii, because this has success written all over it!

More Ridiculous Job Training Videos at Esquire.