Advice, General, Sex 101

Tips for the Ultimate Strip Club Experience

When my usual coping mechanisms like smoking, drinking, chronic masturbation aren’t cutting it, I like to indulge in strip clubs, which combine all my favorite vices in one place. Sure, it gets more costly, but you cannot put a price on happiness, unless boobs have a reasonable going rate.

Strip clubs are great fun, but they can be extremely expensive and leave you wanting more. They are notorious for extraneous cover charges, overpriced drinks, and barbaric guidelines enforced by beefy security guards. This does not have to be the case. Cash may be king at the strip club, but with these handy tips you’ll be making it rain like a pimped-out rapper from the dirty south.

10. Conduct Business

Organizing a business meeting at a strip club makes financial sense in this time of economic gloom. Business meetings are tax deductable, meaning you’ll actually save money by going to a strip club. It’s the perfect excuse to see some ladies dance naked, while crunching some numbers and plotting how to take over the world of finance or concrete distribution. You’ll be surprised how creative and effective a business meeting in a strip club can be.

A note of caution: some women take offense at business meetings conducted at a gentleman’s club. Be very careful when planning a work outing to your local establishment. Getting bounced out of the club is not fun.

9. Take a Hot Girl

It’s a rarity to see a hot girl in a strip club who is not working a pole. Take along a hot female friend and you’ll be surprised at how much attention you’ll receive.

Think of a hot chick in a strip club as bait and you’re the one holding the line. All the strippers will come up to talk to your female friend and try to befriend her because strippers are not used to being around normal women. This gives you a chance to befriend the stripper. The stripper will also feel less threatened by you because she can see that you’re not desperate. This can lead to the lap dance of your life. Another bonus is hot chicks attract dudes who’ll buy them drinks, which you both can share.

8. Tip the Bouncer

Most guys overlook giving some cash to the gatekeeper of the strip club. This is a major mistake. If you look after the bouncer of a club, they will look after you. The doorman isn’t important, but slipping five bucks to the guy guarding the lap dance room can pay huge dividends.

Suddenly, the “no touch” policy is only a suggestion.

More Tips for the Ultimate Strip Club Experience at Spike.