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Top Ten Ways to Get Laid for Under Ten Bucks

Getting laid for under ten bucks used to mean doing things unholy, but now, in this economic crisis, it’s standard. See? Good things happen when communities band together and have sex with each other for little to no money.

Getting laid can be a costly exercise. Women these days like to be wined and dined and made a fuss of before they let you get even close to scoring a home run. This doesn’t need to be the case. With economic gloom all around and a shrinking wallet, you can get laid on the cheap.

By lowering your standards, checking some morals at the door, and being creative, you can get laid for under $10.

10. Take Her to an Art Gallery Opening

Art gallery openings are the perfect cheapskate’s date.  They provide free booze, the heightened atmosphere of a premiere, and usually don’t have a guest list. A date at an art gallery will impress your lady friend. It will make you look sophisticated, creative, and passionate.

The art will also help stimulate conversation. If you really want to ensure getting laid, do your homework and take her to an art gallery with sexually charged artworks. Some tasteful nudes will plant the seeds of sex in her head. You will also be able to work out your chances of getting laid by watching her reaction to the art. If she blushes, you can laugh it off and drop her home early. If she loves it, then you’re in with a fighting chance. Heighten the stakes by suggesting you go back to your place and recreate some of the images. Girls love to get creative, and this is a great way to get her naked.

9. Go Stargazing

A girl goes crazy when a guy gets creative and organizes a romantic date. One of the most romantic dates is stargazing. All you need is a car, a blanket, a clear night, and some stars in the sky.

You may also want to throw in a cheap bottle of wine. Before the date, do some research on the different star constellations. This will give you something to talk about and make you sound passionate and intelligent. This type of setting is ideal for big conversations about life, love, hopes and dreams. Girls love this spiritual crap and you will be able to fake a deep connection. This coupled with the stars and wine and you’ll be getting jiggy with it.

8. Pretend You’re in a Band

Chicks dig rockers. Dudes who are in bands don’t even have to speak and they get laid. Being a rocker is also an economical way to dress. How many times have you worn expensive clothes to a club or bar and gotten nowhere while at the same time some guy who looks homeless is getting some mad action?

All you need to do to look like a rock star is go to your local thrift store and stock up on a pair of tattered tight jeans and a washed out AC/DC t-shirt. Couple this with a belt and unwashed hair and you’ll be in like Flynn. If you have some cash left over, add a fake tattoo for effect. Once you’re in ‘costume,’ go to a bar full of groupies, talk bullshit about your music and wait for them to flock.

Top Seven Ways to Get Laid for Under Ten Bucks at Spike.