Crazy, Funny, Geek, General, Strange, Videogames

Get a Grip: Best Hands in First-Person Shooters

This is definitely a subject I’ve never thought about, but I’m glad UGO did.

When you blast through your favorite FPS, do you ever take a break from the calamity and let your eyes wander to the hands at the bottom of the screen, and you think, “Man, those hands are a representation of my hands. They do what I tell them to do: shoot the gun, stab the bad guy, and grab the life pack. I really owe those hands a solid. They’ve done so much for me. They’re respectable dudes,” then slurp on a Diet Cherry Cola?

13. Deus Ex

If I had these hands, I’d keep them in my pockets when out drinking with the guys. They’re weak, feeble hands, the kind that embarrass you in public.

You find these hands on folks that get lots of paper cuts or have trouble opening pickle jars. But when the going gets tough, these hands get going. They know how to load a rifle in a New York minute, and their pathetically thin digits come in handy for reaching up an adversaries nose and pulling out their septum.

12. Left4Dead

Boomer’s mitts redefine “sausage fingers.” They’re like plump miniature pythons, constantly stretching for the nearest fleck of human flesh to squeeze out any salty, nourishing blood.

If these hands existed on a living human being, they would be at the arm’s end of that guy you always sit next to on a crowded airplane. The one who cracks his beastly, harry knuckles, and wrings his sweaty hands, the air crushing between his palms until it squeaks out like a high-pitched fart. These are seriously inconsiderate hands.

11. Call of Duty 4

These callused hands could shame the skin off a lumberjack’s back.

Take a look again, and tell me these hands haven’t hardened into impromptu workman gloves. These hands could fix a busted fuse box in a rainstorm; they refuse electricity like rubber.

Top 10 Best Hands in First-Person Shooters at UGO.