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Careers Destroyed by the Post-Oscar Curse

Oscar time is upon us–isn’t that exciting? Well it should be…for viewers only.

If you actually win an Oscar, you’re royally fucked. For proof, check out these Great Careers Destroyed by the Post-Oscar Curse by Cracked. You’ll never want to make a two-hour long dramatic musical epic ever again.

Just look at those smug guys up on stage, wearing their tuxedos and hoisting their Oscars. Little do they know that a dark cloud hangs over them. It’s the post-oscar curse, and it means that even a nomination can cause their next film to turn into a career-destroying turd.

It’s not a “curse” in the Egyptian mummy sense, but rather a combination of Napoleonic egos, studio shenanigans and sheer bad luck.

Here are their cautionary tales:

#5. Francis Ford Coppola

From 1972-1982, Francis Ford Coppola was not only at the top of his game, he was at the top of anyone’s game. Ever.

Between The Godfather, The Godfather, Part II and Apocalypse Now, Coppola’s films had won so many Oscars that he could smelt them all down to make the most critically acclaimed suit of armor in all the land. After the rigors of Apocalypse Now, one would think that Coppola would’ve taken a break–after all, this was the film that caused him to famously quip, “We had access to too much money, too much equipment and, little by little, we went insane.”

Instead, Coppola went to Vegas–or at least a $26 million movie version of it–and bet the farm on “Technicolor weird-ass musical.”

Coppola’s gamble was called One from the Heart, a surrealist Las Vegas love story fueled by the music of Tom Waits. Instead of filming on location, Coppola built replicas of Vegas on sound stages. The set shot One from the Heart’s original $2 million budget into the stratosphere, leaving Coppola to pick up a more than $20 million tab when the film earned only $600,000.

And to add insult to injury, the film got terrible reviews.

One from the Heart left Coppola on the verge on bankruptcy from the late 80s to early 90s. To keep ahead of his creditors, Coppola directed films he would’ve otherwise passed up, including The Godfather, Part III and the “Robin Williams as a giant 10-year old” flick, Jack.

That’s right, One from the Heart was responsible for freaking Jack.

Motherfucker.

Now let’s make it extra clear: Even if the man just filmed himself pooping on a glass coffee table every year after 1982, Coppola would still go down as one of the most important filmmakers ever. But still, you have to wonder what crucial part of himself he lost after Apocalypse Now. In the last 27 years, the most memorable thing he’s directed was that Michael Jackson ride at Disney World. And, hey, we’re not complaining. Captain EO fucking ruled.

If The Godfather, Part III had been three hours of that, he’d have a few more gold statues on his mantle right now.

Read the rest of the list at Cracked.