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Possible Steroid Use By 10 Videogame Athletes

Eternal props to Pwn or Die for compiling this hilarious list of (Possible) Steroid-Using Videogame Athletes; their number one pick is for the ages.

Major League Baseball has been taking a beating for the last few years for alleged steroid and performance enhancing drug abuse.  The biggest names in the controversy have been homerun hitters Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa, and pitching master Roger Clemens.  In the last couple of days it has been revealed that Alex Rodriguez not only failed a steroids test a few years ago,  but he also admitted to using them regularly for a couple of years.

Other professional sports have dealt with similar issues, from track and field, to cycling, pro football, wrestling, boxing, and just about any sport you can think of.  Taking that information and looking at many of athletes that have existed in the gaming world has resulted in suspicions that maybe some of these digital athletes were doping like A-Rod and the real players.

Please keep in mind that much of this is speculation and there is very little concrete evidence to actual convict any of these players of wrong doing.  Additionally there is really no way to drug test a digital athlete.  If there are any others that you suspect, please let us know so we can add them to our list.

Without further ado, here are 10 game characters suspected of using “power ups” to enhance their game.

10. Butcher Brown – Boxing
Ready 2 Rumble

Butcher Brown is a beast of a boxer.  He has an 82″ reach and weighs 232 pounds on a 5’9″ frame.  To put this in perspective, Mike Tyson had a 71″ reach and weighed 218 pounds on a 5’11.5″ body.  His arms are almost a whole foot longer and he outweighed Iron Mike by 14 pounds while being a couple inches shorter.  This may be freaky family genes, but this smallish guy probably should be fighting in a smaller weight class rather than with the biggest of the bigs.

9. Giant Panther – Wrestling
Pro Wrestling

This is another case of size being the center of the evidence.  Giant Panther, like Butcher Brown, is just considerably bigger than the rest of the field.  At 6’6″ and 320 pounds he is easily the biggest wrestler in the Pro Wrestling game.  King Slender is the closest at 6’5″ but weighs 40 pounds less at 280.  Real life wrestling icon Hulk Hogan was listed at 6’5″ and 302 pounds.  Many argue that Hulk’s weight was exaggerated from around 280 pounds.  Either way, Giant Panther is a “beefier” version of the Hulkster, capable of taking down Great Puma for the V.W.A. and V.W.F. championship belts and trophies.

This is another case of size being the center of the evidence. Giant Panther, like Butcher Brown, is just considerably bigger than the rest of the field. At 6’6″ and 320 pounds he is easily the biggest wrestler in the Pro Wrestling game. King Slender is the closest at 6’5″ but weighs 40 pounds less at 280. Real life wrestling icon Hulk Hogan was listed at 6’5″ and 302 pounds. Many argue that Hulk’s weight was exaggerated from around 280 pounds. Either way, Giant Panther is a “beefier” version of the Hulkster, capable of taking down Great Puma for the V.W.A. and V.W.F. championship belts and trophies.

8. Fat Guys – Hockey
Ice Hockey

There are three body types that players have in the classic NES game Ice Hockey; “thin guy”, “average guy”, and “fat guy”. The “fat guy” has all of the stereotypical traits of users of performance enhancing drugs.

They are drastically bigger physically, obvious even to a casual person at first glance. They also possess well documented, unnatural strength. In the game manual their shot strength is described as “dynamite” and their checking as “strong”. They are remarkably slow and and are poor at face offs. This either shows one of the typical side effects associated with steroids in the lack of flexibility due to muscle mass or it shows that performing enhancing drugs cannot make your skills or concentration better.

More Possible Steroid-Using Videogame Athletes at Pwn or Die.

[Gorilla Mask via Pwn or Die]