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Alex Rodriguez: 25 Things About Me

With all this A-Rod steroid hubbub going around, it’s time we listen to the man explain himself…once again. Dumb as a Blog compiled a bunch of real fun facts about the superstar roider, and it goes something like this:

1. I was born in 1975, in the Washington Heights section of Manhattan, and moved to the Dominican Republic when I was four.

2. My favorite team when I was a kid was the Mets.

3. When I was on the Texas Rangers, between the years 2001 and 2003, I used the performance-enhancing drug Primobolan, (among other substances.) Primobolan is illegal to sell or market in the Unites States. Oh wait; this is 25 Random things you DON’T know about me, right!? LOL!!!! Sorry.

4. When I just said sorry just then, I was only saying sorry for not writing something random, I wasn’t saying sorry for taking steroids.

5. I AM sorry I GOT CAUGHT taking steroids. For reals. That sucked.

6. Sports Illustrated can blow me.

7. Madonna’s “Like A Virgin” came out in 1984. I was nine years old at the time, and a virgin. Ironic, no?

8. I don’t really understand what the word “ironic” means.

9. I only drive cars with automatic transmissions. Tough time with the clutch.

10. PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY!

11. Peter Gammons smells kind of oaky. Like furniture, or a  thick lacquer. Sort of a combination of old people and furniture polish. I guess that’s more about Peter Gammons than me, but I can kinda still smell it on my clothes. Gross.

12. I’m pretty sure Derek Jeter has been ignoring my friend request.

13. You remember that TV show Webster? That show used to crack me up.

14. I’ve seen Jose Canseco’s testicles. I got a good look in the locker room one time. I know you think they are small and shriveled, but they are exceptionally plump. Very nice, well rounded set. Amazing, really. Explains a lot.

15. Where the hell is my peanut butter and jelly?

More Alex Rodriguez Fun Facts as Dumb as a Blog.