Crazy, General, Music, Sex 101, Strange

Stalker Love Songs

I thought every love song was penned by a stalker–I thought that was the point. Apparently people write love songs and mean them sometimes, although I’m sure their names aren’t, say, Chris Brown.

Bullz-Eye compiled some great examples of love songs with a disturbing edge to them. Shit ain’t as sweet as you expect out there in loveland…

There are certain songs that love you. Like, really, really love you. Wait for you at the elevator love you. Watch through your window as you sleep love you. Whether you love them back is irrelevant – you were made for them, and it’s only a matter of time before you accept this to be true.

Song/Artist: “It’s No Good,” Depeche Mode

Depeche Mode

Incriminating Lyric:
“The gods decree, you’ll be right here by my side / Right next to me / You can run but you cannot hide.”

Creep Factor:
Low. Dave Gahan ranks just behind Jarvis Cocker on the list of least intimidating rock stars.

Musical Antidote:
“You’re No Good,” Linda Ronstadt

Song/Artist: “The Old Apartment,” Barenaked Ladies

Incriminating Lyric:
“Broke into the old apartment / Tore the phone out of the wall / Only memories, fading memories / Fading into dull tableaux / I want them back.”

Creep Factor: If we were talking about Queens of the Stone Age (more on them later), this would be another matter entirely. But in the case of Stephen Page and his merry mates, we’re pretty sure the restraining order will be enough to keep him away, right?

Musical Antidote: “Get Out of This House,” Shawn Colvin

Song/Artist: “Number One Crush,” Garbage


Incriminating Lyric:
“You will believe in me / And I will never be ignored.”

Creep Factor: Admittedly, the lyric sheet reads like a diary entry written by Glenn Close in “Fatal Attraction,” but if you have a thing for sulky redheads in raccoon eye makeup, the song is really sort of adorable.

Musical Antidote: “Puppy Love,” Paul Anka

Song/Artist: “Obsession,” Animotion

Incriminating Lyric:

“I will have you, yes I will have you / I will find a way, and I will have you / Like a butterfly, a wild butterfly / I will collect you and capture you.”

Creep Factor: Too turned on to be creeped out. Keep in mind that one of the next lines is “Who do you want me to be to make you sleep with me?” so if we’re just talking about casual sex, wouldn’t you rather it be with someone who’s a little nuts and willing to role play? You bet your ass you would.

Musical Antidote: “We Don’t Have to Take Our Clothes Off,” Jermaine Stewart

More Stalker Love Songs at Bullz-Eye.