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The Five Worst Best (Recent) Pictures

Yes, yes, yes–a list like this had to be published. I couldn’t agree more with Houston Press‘s pick for the Worst Best (Recent) Picture. Just goes to show that pretentious self regard is what Oscar season is all about!

The paradox of the Oscars is that while nobody outside of the incestuous parallel reality of Hollywood really cares about them, we still find ourselves drawn to the spectacle like illiterates to a Rock of Love marathon.

The nominations for the 81st Academy Awards will be announced this week, so we decided to take a look at some of the least-worthy Best Picture winners, narrowing it down to more recent offenders.

(Yeah, like any of you have seen Cavalcade.)

5. Rocky (1976)

Plot in Ten Words or Less: Mush-mouthed brawler in elevator shoes
fights champ. Loses.

Movies it Beat: Network, Taxi Diver, All the President’s Men

Why it Won: Folks in the entertainment biz don’t like to be reminded that they’re soulless whores (Network) or that people like Travis Bickle actually exist.

4. The English Patient (1996)

Plot in Ten Words or Less: Who Knew Treason and Romantic Betrayal
Could Be So Boring?

Movies it Beat: Fargo, Secrets & Lies

Why it Won: When it comes to overlong snoozefests of questionable
literary pedigree, it’s safer to call it a masterpiece than admit you
don’t know what the big deal is.

Read the rest of the list at Houston Press.