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Top 10 Douchebag Game Characters

This unique list by The -Minus World is eternal. FARKUS? Pure genius.

Characters in any media are supposed to be familiar. Whether you directly decide their fate in a video game or passively watch them act out their lives through Nintendo’s new patent, good characters should be identifiable.

But if you’ve ever played Uno on Xbox Live, you know that gamers and douchebags go together like Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein.

Hence video games themselves often contain douchebag characters that players can identify with.

Here are the biggest.

10. Brucie Kibbutz – Grand Theft Auto 4

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Brucie would rank higher on this list if he weren’t designed to be a douchebag.

But he was, and he is. He’s like Jeremy Piven wrapped in the New Jersey state flag sprayed with Derek Jeter cologne. He’s psyched about lifting weights and cars and picking up chicks!

While most of the pricks on this list are accidental douchebags, Rockstar Games deserves credit for designing a character who’s like every guy you’re ashamed of being friends with in high school.

9. Toad – Super Mario Brothers

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Whatever Toad’s job is in the castle, he’s bad at it. He’s never lifted a goddamn finger to help anyone in the kingdom. All he does with his life is talk and go-kart.

He’s supposed to be some type of advisor to Princess Toadstool, but he’s too apathetic to an invasion of turtle-dinosaur hybrids to think of jotting down where the Princess might be going.

“Where’s the princess?”
“Not here.”
“Do you know where she is?”
“I dunno. In another castle, I guess.”
“Which one?”
“The one with the, uh – shit, shit, shit – uh… orange bricks and lava?”
“There’s eight of those. Which of the eight castles is she in?”
“Dude, I just work here.”

And don’t try to tell me that Toad was useful in Super Mario 2. That was all a goddamn dream and everyone knows it. Only in some crazed fantasy world would Toad actually lift a turnip out of the ground or emerge from the confines of the a lava-surrounded room in the castle.

Read the rest of this classic list at The -Minus World.