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The Top 12 Badass Baldies

Although my father has long, black hair like that of a pirate, I hope that one day I can be part of that most elite of crews, the Badass Baldies. They crave world domination and kick ass and take names. They sometimes even suck on lollipops…in the name of style. That’s badass.

Baldness is inevitable. The American Hair Loss Association estimates 85 percent of men will experience some form of hair loss by the time they turn 50. But don’t worry. Lots of bald guys have taken one of life’s greatest negatives and turned it into the ultimate positive.

These are the people who were as bad and bald as they wanted to be.

12. Cal Ripken Jr.

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The “Iron Man” of the Baltimore Orioles was a legendary player both behind and in front of the baseball, despite the fact that most of the baseballs he went up against had more hair than him. He dominated on defense as a legendary shortstop and turned playing the position into an art form and even had some better than average success in the batter’s box with more than 3,100 hits and 431 home runs in his 20-year career. Of course, he’s best known for beating Lou Gehrig’s long-standing consecutive game record, even by playing through the pain of some serious injuries. Well, at least Gehrig’s got one more thing he can hang over Cal’s head. There is no Cal Ripken’s Disease, is there?

11. Yul Brynner

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It took a musical to turn this actor into one of the most badass bald guys in Hollywood. The legendary actor didn’t start shaving his head until his performance in the Rodgers and Hammerstein musical “The King and I,” but from then on, his scalp was a barren wasteland of badass. He used his powers of baldness to play a badass pharaoh in The 10 Commandments, a badass renegade cowboy in The Magnificent Seven and a badass renegade cowboy robot in Westworld and Futureworld. Then, before his death in 1985, he went on national television with an anti-smoking commercial to warn people of the dangers of smoking while he was dying of cancer. Death may have won, but Brenner at least put up a hell of a fight.

10. Telly Savalas

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The lollipop-sucking, “Who loves ya baby?”-spouting, street-wise detective didn’t go completely bald his whole life.

After he played Pontius Pilate in The Greatest Story Ever Told, he decided to go with the top down, a smart move since he’s one of the best-known bald guys ever to grace the silver and the small screen. He’s best known as TV’s Kojack, the NYC homicide detective who’s smoother and tougher than a top layer of pudding skin, but his career goes well beyond that. He played psychopaths in The Dirty Dozen and Birdman of Alcatraz and even funny guys like in his most ironically titled film The Scalpkillers.

Read the rest of the list at Spike.