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80s Action Movies To Watch When You’re High

Getting real high before you watch an 80s action movie enables you to order a bottomless nacho plate and a 40oz. or two without feeling like a waste of a life. You’re just carrying on tradition–it’s what our parents used to do.

Some movies are super awesome when you’ve smoked a lot of pot.  Now, I’m sure you have your own list, but this is ours.

7. Die Hard

Now, many of you might say this movie is stand alone, nothing is enhanced when you’re high.  I beg to differ for the sole reason that if you’re high, you are physically unable to not repeat every single line that Hans Gruber or Ellis the cokehead say.  And when you’re high, listening to your buddies do an impression of an English guy doing an impression of a German guy is pretty much the funniest thing that this universe has ever created for some reason.

Not to mention, Bruce Willis’s sheer Baddassity in this movie provokes profound debate.  “Okay, so, wait, let’s say McClain goes to jail for something.  You think he would get raped?”  “No way dude, he’s f*&king McClain.”  “Yeah, but in jail, he wouldn’t have a gun or anything.  And he’s not that big.”  “I don’t give a shit dude, McClain is not getting raped man.  It’s not happening.  He’s make a gun out of a toilet or something.”

Best Quote When You’re High: (dead body falls on a police car)

Bruce Willis: “Welcome to the party, pal!”

Best Part When You’re High

6. Road House

Swayze rips a dudes neck out in Road House. His neck out.

Secondly, aside from some retardedly awkward sex scenes where they just show Swayze’s man ass like it was court ordered, there’s a blind dude that gets bottles hurled at him while he plays shows.

Not to mention, when Swayze hits rock bottom, there’s probably one of the most hilariously awesome “Times are tough for our main character” montages I’ve ever seen.  Then after that, he f’in blows up a dudes mansion. For me though, the best part of being high and watching this movie is not the movie itself, it’s wondering what in the f*&k the conversation was between the guy who came up with this, and the movie studio executive who greenlit it was.  “Okay, it’s a guy who’s a legendary bouncer.”  “How does somebody become a legendary bouncer?”  “I don’t know, he just is.  Anyway, he’s here to clean up a bar that’s really rough, then there’s a bad guy…and, dude it’s Swayze and we’ll have him oiled up and stretching just give me the money to make this god dammit.”

Best Quote When You’re High: (Swayze to a guy who he just fired, who asks him what he should do now) Swayze: “There’s always barber college.”

Best Part When You’re High:

Check out the rest of the list at Holy Taco.