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5 Retarded Acts of Drinking

Regretful Morning knows best, so heed their words when they say the following acts of hedonism are, for lack of better wording, retarded.

Retarded acts of drinking are nothing like the conventional ‘drinking game’. They cannot be classified as drinking games because there is really no way to win. Peer pressure, bad judgment, and a need for attention will almost guarantee that you’ll be the moron performing one of these acts.

We’ve singled out 5 of the most pointless, so that you may think back to this article when you’re being hoisted high above a keg this weekend.

5) The Shotgun

How To: Puncture bottom of beer can, place your mouth on the opening, and open. This results in beer flowing into your mouth at high rates of speed.

You would be better off: Just drinking a beer fast.  Shotgunning a beer leaves about 1/4 of your beer on the floor.  Unless you live in a frat house or trailer park there is no reason to shotgun a beer.

4) The Kegstand

How To: Place hands on top of keg and let others lift your legs high above you.  One person will be designated to put the beer nozzle in your mouth once you are in a hand stand position.

You would be better off:

Pouring the beer into a cup like everyone else.  If hand stands are what you’re after, you can try one after you’ve guzzled 6 or 7 beers (preferably near the fire pit).  No one wants your saliva in their beer, the only reason people agree to assist with keg stands is for the possibility of epic failure.

The Top 3 Retarded Acts of Drinking at Regretful Morning.