The crew at Screen Junkies bestowed up upon us vital information regarding sex and movies, showing us 12 Sex Lessons from Late Night Movies.
It was probably close to three in the morning in your living room. You were six sodas deep with the volume turned way down on the set, anxiously awaiting some practical knowledge regarding the mysterious act of sex.
From the scenes that put wisdom in your brain and a strain in your shorts, these were the moments that taught you more about getting laid than anything else. Here are some of the lessons you learned.
LESSON: Don’t be afraid to smell like a Dude.
Before Kim Cattrall was slutting it up on Sex In The City, she had a howling appreciation for the stench of the boy’s locker rooms. It’s not that Tinactin and Ben-Gay are aphrodisiacs. It’s that girls like the way guys smell, and vice versa. It’s one of the things that’s kept the human race boning since day one.
Weird Science (NSFW)
LESSON: You can’t build a woman. So you need to figure out how the the real ones work.
Gary and Wyatt use their sweet hacking / collage skills to build a mega babe with their Comadore 64. So much for playing Bionic Commando in a pair of Umbros. In the end, the boys don’t get any tail from their creation. It reminds us that science has not yet devised a way to create the perfect woman (not yet). So we better learn how to work the ones around us.
LESSON: Use words to bring out a woman’s inner-sexiness.
Who knew a tape recorder with a cheesy French accent could turn Jamie Lee into a wind-up Strippo-Roboto? Note to self: Hit up Radio Shack before the company holiday party, or at least prep with a few original lines.
More Sex Lessons from Late Night Movies at Screen Junkies.