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Cracked List: 20 Costumes That Will Earn You a Halloween Beating

If you’re wearing one of these, consider yourself warned: those guys aren’t getting up from the bar to come over and shake your hand.

#20. Spongebob Adult Man’s Costume

Aside from the “Would you like to buy some Bibles?” look on the model’s face, it’s the white leotards that seal the wearer’s fate.

Or possibly the little red dick-tie.

#19. ATM Man

If you want to look like a Muslim Darth Vader, this costume is for you. Despite the claims in the picture, don’t be surprised if women dressed like money do not approach you to withdraw cash from your wiener.

#18. Breathalyzer

The early model Terminators were easily identifiable, since Skynet’s files on what penises really look like were badly damaged in the initial attack.

#17. Cain The Vampire Tyrant

Oh shit! It’s Cain! Cain the Vampire Tyrant! And he’s been playing the Nintendo with his power Glove!

#16. Lock and Key

This dude finally gets a modeling gig that has nothing to do with his biceps or his dreadlocks, so he improvises.

The woman is sad because she knows the inevitable attempt to “unlock” here will cause her entrails to go flying out of her lower back, a gruesome and undignified death via impalement on a wacky costume.

Top 15 Costumes That Will Earn You a Halloween Beating at Cracked.