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Cracked List: 8 Classic Movies That Got Away With Gaping Plot Holes

People hate plot holes in movies. At least, that’s what they’ll tell you. But sometimes, if a movie is awesome enough, people will overlook even the most retarded gaps in reason and logic.

At least, until some asshole on the Internet points them out and makes a big list of them. Enjoy:

#8. Back to the Future

The Plot:

Marty McFly goes back in time, helps his parents get together, invents rock and roll…

The Hole:

…and everyone promptly forgets he was ever there the minute he leaves.

Nobody notices that a famous clothing brand is later named after him, nobody notices that Chuck Berry releases a song that sounds pretty similar to the one he played at the big dance, and most importantly, nobody bats an eyelid when his Mom has a kid who looks exactly like him.

Now we don’t claim to know exactly what first enters the mind of a married man when his wife births a child who looks identical to their old high school boyfriend, but we’re guessing it’s not “time travel conspiracy.” Old George was either the most oblivious, forgiving man on earth, or there were some secret resentment beatings in the McFly household.

Even more disturbing, what must his Mom have thought? The only explanation we can see making sense from her point of view is that Marty was Satan (he did invent rock and roll after all) and the whole thing’s some kind of demon spawn Rosemary’s Baby type deal. And no one should ever be in a position where the most plausible explanation for their situation implies that they fucked Satan.

This was the most sinister looking picture of Michael J Fox we could find.

Plus, think how chilling Marty’s final remark on stage becomes given this context: “I guess you’re not ready for that yet… but your kids are gonna love it.”

#7. Minority Report

The Plot:

Tom Cruise is convicted of a murder he hasn’t committed yet, by a team of psychics called “precogs.”

The Hole:

The precogs? They don’t work. At all. We’re told they predict the future but nothing they predict ever happens. If they actually predicted the future properly, they’d predict the people getting arrested, not committing murders.

In the entire movie, the only precog prediction that actually comes true exactly as they said involves a kid losing a balloon. Chinese fortune cookies have a higher success rate than these guys.

But maybe they’re really more telepathic than precognitive, able to see what people’s intentions are. Except they can’t do that, either. The movie is set in motion by the premeditated murder ball coming out with Tom Cruise’s character’s name on it. But he hadn’t planned the murder at all. The whole point of the movie is that he had no idea who he was going to kill.

The one time they do predict a murder that actually happens, they still manage to fuck it up. The loophole the movie’s villain exploits is that if you commit a murder that looks identical to a previous murder, when the precogs’ vision comes up they’ll just think it was an echo and delete it. But that would only get rid of the image, there’d still be a new ball naming you as the murderer, which would be hard to explain. Seems like a flawed plan right? Well, it would be in any other movie.

Add that to the fact that Tom Cruise was able to continually get past the retina scanners at police headquarters by using the eyes he had when he first became a fugitive (they don’t revoke your access when you get accused of murder? What, do they operate on the retina honor system?) and you have to wonder if they weren’t just making shit up as they went along.

#6. The Sixth Sense

The Plot:

Spoiler alert: Bruce Willis is dead. The whole time. We totally didn’t see it coming and apparently neither did he. He’s only able to figure out he’s a ghost when he sees his wife drop his wedding ring.

The Hole:

But shouldn’t he have figured it out before that? All the other ghosts in the film seemed to be wandering the earth, mindlessly reliving their deaths, with little awareness of the outside world at all. But ol’ Bruce was just carrying on as normal, working and going about his day-to-day routine, completely unfazed by the fact no one but a small child had spoken to him in several months.

What kind of lifestyle was he living before his death that would make him fail to notice that no one could see or hear him? He assumes his wife isn’t speaking to him because he’s “neglecting their marriage.” In the days right after he died, did he think she was mad at him for getting shot in the stomach? And what about everyone else? Does he also assume all waiters are suddenly assholes? That the girl at the supermarket check out finds him too hideous to make eye contact with? That taxis won’t stop for him because he’s balding?

And how does he get the assignment to treat the kid anyway? Nobody hired him, being a ghost and all. Does he just approach random children in churches and start giving them free psychiatric advice? That’s no way to run a business, ghost or not, and we’re pretty sure it will get you thrown in jail.

#5. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

The Plot:

At the end of another wondrous wizarding adventure, Harry uses a magical time-travel necklace to go back and save himself and his godfather from the evil dementors.

The Hole:

This is actually a problem in most movies that contain time machines. The movie treats time travel like this urgent thing: “We’ve made it to the past! Now we’ve only got a few minutes to go back and stop the dementors!” No you don’t, you have as much time as you need. It’s fucking time travel. If you mess up, just go back and try again.

“OK, thirty-seventh attempt…”

They also seem to feel that they have to do it immediately, that there’s no time to wait. Of course there’s time to wait, you’ve got a goddamn time machine. Do it tomorrow, do it in ten years. You already know you’ve succeeded, you were there when it happened. It’s actually the only situation you could be in where failure is impossible. It’s the least suspenseful thing imaginable, yet they treat it as the nail-biting climax of the movie.

The power to travel through time still wouldn’t be worth
the humiliation of owning Harry Potter jewelry.

We’re picking on Harry Potter especially for this because after they use the time machine that one time, that was it. For the rest of the saga, the entire wizarding world is under siege from a magical Hitler, and they never again find the time travel useful? Despite all the people who die in the Harry Potter series (and post Azkaban, they start killing them off like it’s a Friday the 13th movie) he never goes back and saves any of them?

Selfish prick.

Read the remaining 4 at Cracked.