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America’s Ten Best College Parties

It’s back-to-school season, you lucky turds! For some of you, this time of year is filled with thoughts of textbooks, classrooms, and nights spent at the library.

For the majority of you, however, by the time August rolls around, your now pink and healthy livers are just crying out for a beating. Time to dust off your funnel and glow sticks.

The Princeton Review recently released its annual list of top party schools, and we here at Radar just can’t resist throwing in our two cents. So what if Florida State tops the list—which parties are the craziest? Where should you go if you’re looking for booty? Feeling boozy? All of the above?

Grab your red cups and morning-after pills, and let’s take a look at the 10 best college parties, brah!

Drag Ball: Oberlin College

Simple stuff, really: Collect a group of sexually confused and experimental youth (we hear your local liberal arts college has tons), throw a couple of bottom-shelf mixed drinks into the brew, then top it off with some pancake makeup, fishnets, and foam breasts. Voilà! You’ve got yourself the annual Drag Ball at Oberlin!

This past year’s theme, Pandora’s Box, drew a panoply of campus faces—from football studs in sequined minis to morose art-types in Madonna cones. The ball even pitted Oberlin trannies against professional drag queens and kings in a well-coiffed head-to-head battle for the chance to mount the throne.

Not in the mood for competition? Don’t worry, chances are you’re too drunk to stand in stilettos anyway.

Don’t forget to bring: Your Lucite heels.

Full Moon on the Quad: Stanford University

More a tradition than an actual party, Full Moon on the Quad is an opportunity to live out every incoming freshman and outgoing senior’s primal desires: to totally make out with one another.

Despite being in California, where the loving is free, the dating scene at Stanford has been said to be “risk averse” and “dogma-pervaded”—which, when bottled up for four years, makes for a pretty hot night of random, no-strings-attached tongue hockey.

Don’t forget to bring: Binaca.

Read about the rest at Radar.