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The 5 Most Baffling Sex Scenes in the History of Fanfiction

When traveling in the vast, anonymous, lawless expanse known as the Internet, it’s a given that you’re going to run into some weird shit. Maybe none of it is weirder than the world of erotic fanfiction.

This is where fans lovingly write up tales of, say, Legolas and Gimli going at it, in excruciating detail. But dig deeper and you find stories featuring such random match ups of character that it’ll send your mind, and boner, reeling:

#5.Captain Jean-Luc Picard Meets Elrond From Lord of the Rings; Sex Ensues

The Scenario:

In this long, molasses-paced tale, Picard is on the most important mission of his life: a mission for fun. It seems that his superiors think he needs a vacation, and so they send him off to [insert garbled fake planet name here] to relax.

Of course, something unexplained goes horribly wrong, and he ends up crash-landing on Middle-Earth. He’s found and nursed back to health by Lord Elrond. Hilarity ensues.
Oh, wait, did we say hilarity? There’s actually none of that. Instead it’s just four more chapters of Elrond telling Picard to stay in bed, Picard playing a flute, and Glorfindel wandering by, thinking that this is the gayest damn thing he’s ever seen.

For the rest of this Cracked article click here.