General, News

Hefner Calls it Quits: No More Playboy Parties

From Perez Hilton:

Apparently, after so many years of partying, Hefner is giving it up.

Word is that this year’s annual Halloween party will be the last event he will personally throw.

Sources are also claiming it’s being done to cut costs.

No official word has been given by Playboy, though a rep did say, “Who knows what will happen in a year from now?”

Before dudes chime in with “C’MONNNN HEF! WHY U GOTTA STOP THE PARTAY? WE WAS JUST GETTING STARTED BRAAAAAAAAAA!”, realize that Hugh Hefner has been partying and living in excess well before most of us were even a glint in our father’s nutsack.

Hefner is like, 487 years old; I don’t know any human on this planet who rivals his party longevity. I’ll pop my hip out before I pop a boner at his age.

I salute Hef and wish him well as he rides out to the horizon. Besides, what’s the other option, him dying of stimulus overload at a Caligula-styled blowout? Hmmmmm…that sounds like a swell time. ENCORE, ENCORE!