Advice, General

8 Most Awkward Childhood Moments (For Guys)

Growing up is one embarrassing moment after another. Here’s a few moments that tend to stand out from the rest.

8. WET DREAM

When you wake up from your first wet dream, you’re basically like one of those soldiers in the first twenty minutes of Saving Private Ryan; scared and confused and checking to see if the stuff you’re covered in is coming from your body. After realizing it’s not urine by rubbing it between your fingers and smelling it like an 1800s fur trader trying to make sure he’s not getting a fake pelt, it’s clean up time. I’m pretty convinced that if murderers took the time and paid the attention to detail that kids spend hiding the evidence of an unexpected splooge, death row would be empty.

7. ASKING A GIRL OUT

The first time you try and ask a girl out on a date ends up sounding a lot like a Woody Allen monologue. You start off with, “Um, so, um, I was wondering if, like, ya know, maybe you wanted to, like…I mean you’re probably busy, but, like…” and then after three minutes of that you end it with “…and so my friend was all, like, ya know weird and then the helicopter picked them up off the boat…and that’s it.” After you walk away thinking you were totally cool, it slowly dawns on you that you didn’t actually ask her out, but in your nervous desperation ended up telling her about an episode of Gilligan’s Island.

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