Advice, Babes, Sex 101

According to Science, “Beer Goggles” are Real

I want to be a scientist so hard.

From NewScientist:

The next time you hear someone blaming “beer goggles” for their behaviour, you may have to believe them. People really do appear more attractive when our perceptions are changed by drinking alcohol.

There have been few previous attempts to investigate the idea that people seem to find others more attractive when drunk. In 2003, psychologists at the University of Glasgow, UK, published a study in which they asked heterosexual students in campus bars and cafés whether they had been drinking, and then got them to rate photos of people for attractiveness. While the results supported the beer goggles theory, another explanation is that regular drinkers tend to have personality traits that mean they find people more attractive, whether or not they are under the influence of alcohol at the time.

To resolve the issue, a team of researchers led by Marcus Munafò at the University of Bristol in the UK conducted a controlled experiment. They randomly assigned 84 heterosexal students to consume either a non-alcoholic lime-flavoured drink or an alcoholic beverage with a similar flavour. The exact amount of alcohol varied according to the individual but was designed to have an effect equivalent to someone weighing 70 kilograms drinking 250 millitres of wine – enough to make some students tipsy. After 15 minutes, the students were shown pictures of people their own age, from both sexes.

Both men and women who had consumed alcohol rated the faces as being more attractive than did the controls (Alcohol and Alcoholism, DOI: 10.1093/alcalc/agn065). Surprisingly, the effect was not limited to the opposite sex – volunteers who had drunk alcohol also rated people from their own sex as more attractive.

So let me get this straight: scientists get some kids drunk at a bar and show them pictures of hot babes and fugly ones and I’m supposed to believe this is all in the name of research–and somehow I actually do! This is the best research, the only kind that matters to people like you and I.

See, the “beer goggle” excuse for bringing home somebody…uh…less than stellar has only worked most of the time; now it can work ALL the time. It’s a fact: everybody looks better/cooler after a few drinks because everybody looks more approachable. It’s not much different than being piss drunk at a bar, “deep in conversation” with some random dude you met an hour prior and buying a round of shots to celebrate your friendship because man, you two are gonna be bros for life…well, at least for that moment of bromance.

I applaud the notion of not worrying about who I have sex with whilst hammered and not having to explain my ill-conceived conquests ever again.

Thank you, scientists–thank you.

And for the record, I would choose “10:00pm girl” first. She’s looking mighty…approachable.