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6 Ways Not To Get A Second Date

The unholy trinity of Photoshop, spell check and the Internet mean that even the most illiterate, personality-deficient, hideous troll can land a first date, much to a lady’s disappointment. Landing a second date is the tricky bit, so when you realize you’d like to never see this guy again, there are some tried and true strategies to assure that he decides the first date is also the last.

1. “Forget” your wallet. There is nothing more awkward than wrestling your date for the check. Actually, there is one thing more awkward–that’s when you offer to split the check and he accepts; except you have no intention of following through and offer up this lame excuse in lieu of a handful of greenbacks.

2. Cry. Sobs of sadness, tears of joy–it doesn’t matter. Water coming out of your eyeballs will kill the mood quicker than finding out he still sucks his thumb.

3. Inappropriate disclosure of the personal kind.
You know how you’ve always really admired the curve of your brother’s bum in his too-tight pair of Wranglers? Share that little tidbit and see what happens.

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